I saw this meme on Facebook a few weeks ago that said, “No one prepares you for the transition from Mama, Mommy to Mom.” It really resonated with me because I think I have made it to the “mom” stage with my children. It seems crazy to me that I’ve been a parent for almost 13 years. I wonder how on earth have I kept a human alive when I can’t even keep a houseplant alive? Somehow my husband and I have raised two human beings that are turning out to be kind people.
I remember when my children were babies, I was so excited to hear them say their first words. I begged them to say mama. I practiced pronouncing it for them, tried to say it as many times as I could throughout the day so that they would learn it and repeat it after me. Inevitably they both said dada first but deep down I was just happy they were talking. That first time I heard them say mama was so exciting.
I feel like we transitioned into the “Mommy stage” once they became toddlers. They could speak more words and mama evolved into mommy and it was so sweet to me. “Mommy, may I have a drink?” “Mommy, can we go outside to play?” “Mommy, I love you.” The feeling I get when one of my kids says I love you is like no other. It’s the best feeling in the world to know that you have someone with you at all times who loves you unconditionally. A child’s love is different from a romantic love. It feels different, it feels refreshing and I feel accomplished as a mother when I hear those 3 words.
The “Mom stage” kind of slaps you in the face. To me, it means that my children are growing up and that they may not need me as much. At 12 almost 13 years old, my daughter is pretty self-sufficient. She no longer needs me to get her a drink, she doesn’t need help getting dressed or brushing her hair. She can do all of that herself. So when she started calling me mom instead of mommy or mama it was kind of hard to accept at first. When did we get to the point of transition where it is no longer cool or cute to call me mommy?
As my daughter’s 13th and my son’s 10th birthday looms ahead I wonder if and when we will transition to the next stage of life. The stage where it is no longer OK to hang out with your mom or kiss her goodbye or hug her in public. When will I become the embarrassing mom? Have I already become the embarrassing mom? When will it be uncool to tell people that I am their mother? I would like to hope that we will never get to that point but I know better. Teenagers don’t want to acknowledge your existence. They don’t want to be uncool for saying “I love you, Mom.” I guess when we get to that point of our lives I will deal with it as it comes.
Until then, I will continue to love the moments when my children call me mommy when they really want that toy at the store. Or when they say “Mama, can I lay with you?” No matter what they call me I will always be their mom and they will always be my babies and for that I am thankful.
Steph Hightree is a hot mess mom who is fueled by stress and too much caffeine. She is a Three Rivers native who talks about the good, the bad, and well, everything else about parenthood.
Any views or opinions expressed in “#MomLife” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.
