I miss my children’s teachers. I miss the joy of dropping my children off at school knowing they were in the best possible hands for the day. I miss packing my son’s lunch. I miss the stress of attempting to wake my 12-year-old up in the morning so she has enough time to look presentable before school. I miss the arguments and rushing out the door trying not to be late. I miss it all.
I miss leaving my house and aimlessly walking around Goodwill or Target spending way too much money. Going to my best friend’s house, hugging people, touching my face without fear that I will spread something to someone. I miss my husband going to work and then coming home in a semi-bad mood and me telling him to check his attitude at the door. Going to the movies. Going to a restaurant. Frequenting my favorite places without wearing a mask. I miss not worrying about personal boundaries and just standing however close to someone as I want. I miss it all.
I miss my kids missing me because they’ve been gone at school all day. I miss dropping them off at their grandma’s house for an overnight stay. I miss my mom. I miss opening my door without fear. Traveling, going to concerts, exploring, being able to do what I want when I want. I miss the smell of my new office space, being able to cough without judgement, and going to visit relatives. I miss chaos. I miss it all.
I miss being the naive parent who thinks my children are perfect angels at school. I miss taking my daughter to gymnastics. Going to work and coming home. Getting dressed in something other than lounge clothes. Date nights, fighting with my children to do their homework, in-person meetings. I miss it all.
COVID-19 has certainly left its mark on our lives. This is a time we will never forget. No matter how bad we want to forget it. But do I really want to forget a time where I’ve been able to spend so much quality time with my immediate family? Do I want to forget the moments I have shared with my children and husband that I may not have had if we were still in our normal chaotic routines? Of course not. What I want to forget is the sadness and worry and fear.
But ultimately, I want to start living life again, stop missing things, and for life to go back to normal. Whatever normal is anymore.
Steph Hightree is a hot mess mom who is fueled by stress and too much caffeine. She is a Three Rivers native who talks about the good, the bad, and well, everything else about parenthood.
Any views or opinions expressed in “#MomLife” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.
