Living on Purpose
Last week like many, I joined the conversation regarding the killing of Ahmaud Arbery. As soon as I heard what happened, I was filled with negative emotions. It was upsetting. I lost sleep due to being distraught over what seems to me a cyclical and devastating scenario. I wanted to weep, and shout and needed a release but I did not pursue one. Instead I numbly went about doing routine things with this all too familiar feeling of sorrow.
My plan was the usual, I would keep moving. One foot in front of the other. I would push down the anger and helplessness. Things would die down, and I would be fine until the next time.
There is always a next time. This knowingness made my burden too heavy. I needed a different response, nothing crazy, just the ability to communicate raw emotion without fear of prejudice. Feeling compelled, I wrote a poem entitled “You’d Be Mad Too,” and after much reflection decided to share it. In doing so I broke at least one negative cycle. One that had been in my control the entire time. I let go of my fear of being misunderstood.
It is not my job to manage the perceptions of others, but to advocate, make art, and make peace within. Denying any part of who I am a healthy outlet was only causing further harm to myself. Not keeping the peace. Fittingly after this realization I came across a quote. Some may call it coincidence, but I call it confirmation.
“This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal.”
Toni Morrison
An early responder to the post that I made sharing the poem asked “…how are we to make this better?” In line with the quotation above and simply put: communication.
If we are serious about healing as a nation, we must start by communicating. Unpolished and raw communication. I want to do my part in both listening and sharing because it is time for a change. I am not alone in this desire. I noticed a shift this time in the way the masses responded. People are in the trenches that I don’t recognize as having been here before and I pray the unified momentum continues.
A native of Phoenix, Arizona Aundrea Sayrie is a firm believer in the power of words, faith and a strong spirit. Her greatest desire is to encourage those around her to discover and honor their truth, and to passionately live on purpose. IG @aundreasayrie.
Any views or opinions expressed in “Living on Purpose” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.
