Dear Mom, yes, I’m talking to you, I just wanted to let you in on a secret:
You are a good mom.
If you are reading this then you should know that your children are not going to resent you for yelling at them just now. They will bounce back and love you just the same. They will not hate you because you said no 57 times yesterday. Eventually they will understand and come to realize that you actually knew what you were talking about.
I’m here to let you know that your actions have not gone unnoticed. The countless number of juice boxes you have fetched from the refrigerator, the mile high pile of laundry that you’ve done today, the endless “I’m hungry, can I have a snack?,” the “mom, mom, mom, mom, mom” until you finally break and yell “WHAT?”, it all has meaning. You are doing a great job.
I know sometimes it seems no one appreciates the concessions you have made. You have sacrificed your body, your sleep, your energy, your heart, your social life, all to be a good mom. And for what? Just to be punched with tiny little fists, called a poopy head, told we are the worst mother in the world and have ruined their whole lives. Trust me when I say it will all have meaning in the end.
Our children may not notice what it takes to be a mother when they are younger but once they are adults it will all come to them. They will realize why we did things and how we did them and it will all make sense. Even though it seems like the rewards aren’t there, they are. They are there when your child gives you a big hug and a kiss. They are there when your child wins a race and comes straight to you for a high five. They are there when you child is hurt and crying and only wants your advice. It may not seem like it, but the rewards outweigh the rest.
I know it seems like all you do is clean up toys, change dirty diapers, wipe little noses but I see you. I see all the behind the scenes work that you do with no acknowledgment. Motherhood is hard. Frankly, it’s the hardest thing I have ever done. But I’m here to tell you that it gets easier.
The older my children have gotten the less dependent on me they are. At first, I was sad because it appeared they didn’t need me as much but that’s just not true. They need me just as much as they did when they were babies, only in different ways. And those ways are just as important as the bottles you made or the time you spent breastfeeding or the skinned knees you bandaged. They need you, mom. And you’re still doing a great job.
It is easy to lose yourself in motherhood. It is easy to put your needs behind you to fill the needs of others. It is easy to forget about yourself. But I want to challenge you to not forget that you are a person. You are important. You matter. You are a good mother.
Steph Hightree is a hot mess mom who is fueled by stress and too much caffeine. She is a Three Rivers native who talks about the good, the bad, and well, everything else about parenthood.
Any views or opinions expressed in “#MomLife” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.
