COVID-19 has rocked our world in more ways that we could imagine. Quarantine, masks, hybrid and virtual learning options, social distancing, depression, extra family time, reorganizing and decluttering, it’s affecting all of us differently.
For me, I have had my ups and downs. Extreme sadness for the world and people around me. Depression because I have to stay in and am not able to see my family and friends like I’m used to. Happiness because I had time to declutter and organize the room in my house that looked like a hoarder’s dream. Excitement when a new package arrived at my doorstep because I had too much time on my hands, so I started online shopping my worries away. And worry because everything is still so unknown.
I’ve said this in almost every column I have written but it will always be true, being a mom is hard. But being a mom in the middle of a pandemic is close to impossible. My children are 13 and 10, so they have questions and concerns of their own. I can’t sugarcoat things anymore. I have to tell them the truth or else they will inevitably call me out. So, during this pandemic not only do I have to make sure that I am staying sane and keeping my cool when all I want to do is scream, I also have to make sure they are staying sane and keeping their cool. How do you do that when you’re not even sure what to do?
Pandemic depression is a real thing. I’m currently on Day “I don’t remember” of a 14-day self-quarantine and I can say with certainty that I am already battling my depression. I find myself just sitting around all day in my PJs doing nothing but watching Christmas movies. I know, to some that sounds like a dream, and if it were any time other than a pandemic I would be elated, but really there is so much to do around my house that I could be working on with this extra time but I just don’t have the energy to do any of it.
Dishes are piling up, there are probably 25 blankets unfolded around the house, I haven’t even finished decorating for the holidays. Which, if you know me, you know that I LOVE decorating for the holidays. I have lost my motivation due to COVID.
If I have no motivation then how do I motivate my children? How do I make this unknown time feel somewhat “normal?” How do I make sure they don’t fall into pandemic depression? I see my daughter falling into a depression every day. She doesn’t want to do anything that she used to like to do. She doesn’t leave the couch; she barely talks to her friends. She doesn’t want to do her schoolwork, and let’s not even talk about the struggle it is to get her to go to school these days. I see her falling into a depressed routine and I don’t know how to pull her out of it because I, too, am falling into the same routine.
So here I am, just stuck. Stuck with the impossible task of making sure everything and everyone is OK, including me.
My son on the other hand has embraced this pandemic with a hug. He loves staying home. He loves having more play time with a slightly less chaotic schedule. He would give anything to stay in his PJs all day watching cartoons, playing Roblox and FaceTiming with his cousins. He actually gets mad at me when I tell him we have to leave the house. It is the opposite of what my daughter and I are dealing with but I guess I can say it makes me relieved and happy that I only have to deal with one child who is negatively affected by this pandemic.
Living in a COVID world is scary. It recently hit our family close to home with both of my in-laws being admitted to the hospital with COVID. My children are worried and scared for their grandparents’ health. They now realize this is a real thing and not just something that is talked about on the news or social media. And unfortunately it isn’t going away anytime soon. I guess I better get to work on learning how to take better care of myself during this unprecedented time. I mean, I can’t take care of my children if I don’t take care of myself first, right?
If you have any tips on how to navigate this COVID world please send them my way. I can never have too many ideas on how to pull myself and my daughter out of this pandemic depression. It’s hard. Parenting is hard. Life is hard. But I know we will get through this, and we will come out of it as better people, hopefully living in a better world.
Steph Hightree is a hot mess mom who is fueled by stress and too much caffeine. She is a Three Rivers native who talks about the good, the bad, and well, everything else about parenthood.
Any views or opinions expressed in “#MomLife” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.
