One of these days, I wanna go to a Haunted House
On da Darkest Dawn of Halloween.
Just to See if I can still Feel da Feeling of Fear.
If I still Feel Spark run through Body
When a Hand tries to Bind me from da Shadows.
That even tho I Know da Dude behind da Mask is like Me
A deep Desperation dares Me to take Flight on Fight.
Run as if a Bear is chasing You.
Sprint as if da Cops wasting You.
Sweat as if Death feels like it’s Racing You.
And Yo legs be Bruised. Beaten. Broken.
Barely Standing da Pain. 
See Yo Life pass by in breathes be bout a billion BPMs.
Eyes Dilated wit Paranoia of PTSD Veterans.
I wanna Feel that type of Fear.
Just to Remind Me I’m Living.

I remember when I was at my bro TC crib.
He pulled a Kettle full of boiling water fresh of da stove,
And spilled some right on top of my Knee.
And I ain’t Scream.
I ain’t Flinch.
I ain’t Say cuss words in My Head.
I ain’t Feel Nothin’.

When I was an at-risk teacher, students thought I was Jesus.
The way I’d turn Water to Wine.
Could take a Smack Square in da Face
And not Budge or Break out in Anger.
How even when Faced wit Stones, 
I was never Tempted enough to turn it to Bread.
How I Spoke Quit to Rage, Spoke Rivers to Flame.
I used to think I was Strong wit My Feelings,
But maybe I wasn’t Feeling at all.

Cuz sometimes I be Numb.
Not even Death could scare Me.
I wouldn’t even Scream if He Snared Me.
If He caught me in His Crossfire,
Where He was Tryna Hit my Heart.
But Numbness be a Shield like that.
Acting as if our Apathy don’t be a Defense.
Really covering us like a Blanket wit hella Holes.
That’s why we be feeling so Cold.

That’s why One of these days, I wanna go to a Haunted House
On da Darkest Dawn of Halloween.
Just to See if I’m still Here.
Just to See if I still Heal.
Just to See if I can still 

Feel.

Cuz sometimes, I be

Numb.