#MomLife: This Child Deserved More

Pictured are Myka and Huxley Stauffer. Huxley was recently "rehomed" by his adopted parents Myka and James Stauffer. (YouTube)

Recently I read a story about a YouTuber who adopted a child and three years later “rehomed’ him to a new family. Why, you ask? Because her son has special needs, specifically Autism. 

I want to preface this column by saying I understand there are a number of valid reasons for a parent to give their child up for adoption, I just don’t believe that giving them up because they have special needs is one of them.

When I started reading, I immediately became angry. I mean, I am a mother of an autistic child, could I even imagine “rehoming” him? Absolutely not! Thoughts began swirling in my mind. What were they thinking? How could they do this to their child? Why adopt a child with special needs if you’re not willing to step up to the challenge of taking care of them? They chose this life; how can they give up on him now? 

My thoughts were taking over my mind when I suddenly started to think more and went through all of the difficult times we have had as an autism family. But no matter how difficult it was I still can’t understand how someone could just give their child away because they were unable to handle his needs. What were they hoping for when they chose a child with special needs?

Trust me when I say parenting a child with Autism is hard. There is nothing easy about it. I remember before Nathan was diagnosed, I would just sit and cry. I would cry out of frustration that I didn’t know what was wrong with my child or why he was different. Cry because he hit me with his head so hard that he almost broke my nose. Cry because I couldn’t calm my baby down. Cry because I, like this YouTuber, felt like a failure of a mom. But feeling like a failure and actually being a failure are two different things. 

YouTuber parents Myka and James Stauffer pose for a photo with their family.

I wouldn’t go as far as calling this woman a failure because she does have other children who I’m sure she is a great mother too. I would, however, go on the record to state that I feel like this family failed this child and did a disservice to him. This innocent little boy did not choose this family, this family chose him. And in one of her many Vlogs this mother states she chose this child because of his special needs. So why three years later does it suddenly become so overwhelming that she can no longer take care of this child? This child that she pledged to give her all to.   

So why am I so outraged? I’m outraged because of how disgusting this whole thing is. This child never really had a chance with this family. They exploited their child for more views on social media before he was even adopted. They gave adoption updates and talked about how God was calling them to adopt a special needs child. They made money off of these videos. And for what? To give up on him when he needed them the most because he was “too autistic.” 

This child deserved more. 

Other reports state the child is now thriving and happy with his new mommy, who also happens to have medical experience. I should be happy with that outcome but it still makes me sad because this YouTuber really didn’t give her child everything, she had to help him thrive. Being a parent means you are an advocate for your child but it doesn’t mean you advocate for them to be placed with a different family because life got hard. Parenting is a challenge; life is hard but you can’t just give up. It is your duty to do whatever it takes to help your children thrive, grow and survive. Even if that means dealing with the hard stuff more often than the easy stuff.

I sincerely hope this family turns things around and becomes closer because of this. I also hope they learn a very valuable lesson. Children are not a toy that you give away when you get tired of them. They are people. They deserve to have people in their court that are on their side. They deserve to be loved and not “rehomed.” Children deserve more.

Steph Hightree is a hot mess mom who is fueled by stress and too much caffeine. She is a Three Rivers native who talks about the good, the bad, and well, everything else about parenthood.


Any views or opinions expressed in “#MomLife” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.