Writing this makes my heart hurt. But I know it’s something that needs to be said. Your first breakup has happened. That first night I did my best to hold it together for you but I failed so I just cried along with you. I had never seen you cry so hard, and I hadn’t held you in my arms in years. I felt powerless as a mother. And it was one of the most painful parenting experiences I have felt.
I know this feels like a knife to your heart right now but I’m here to tell you that it will all work out in the end. I know you feel like life will never be the same again, and I want you to know that you are right. Life will never be the same after you’ve experienced your first heartbreak. And guess what? That’s normal. You will get through this because you are strong and courageous.
Life throws some curveballs at you when you least expect it. And this is just one of those times. I want you to know your feelings are valid. You can be sad, angry, confused, you are allowed to feel however you need to feel. Just know that I am here for you whenever you need to cry, scream, vent or just sit in silence. I am always here.
I see you feeling numb and questioning your worth. I see your tears. I see you wondering what you did wrong. To tell you the truth, you did nothing wrong. And neither did he. You guys just weren’t the right match or the timing wasn’t on your side. And that just sucks. But the good thing is you are young and you have a whole life ahead of you, and if you are meant to be then you will find your way back eventually. Or you won’t and that is OK too.
Heartbreak is hard and lessons in heartbreak are even harder to learn. The number one lesson I can give you is to not give up on who you are and what you want. This will eventually show you the importance of staying true to yourself. My heart breaks seeing the pain in your eyes. I wish I could absorb your pain. I wish I could make everything better like I did when you were little and had a boo boo. But unfortunately this boo boo is a bit bigger than a scrape on the knee or a bump on the head. I wish a milkshake or a hug would fix it. But it takes time. And time is what I’m going to give you.
Everything you are going through is preparing you to find the right person for you and for you to learn to be the right person for them. When that moment comes you will be a better person. You will have experienced heartbreak and come out on the other side a stronger person. You will be ready. And I will be waiting on the sidelines to cheer you on. Because I am your #1 fan after all.
I promise you it will be OK. Do I expect you to feel better tomorrow? Not at all. But I do hope that you start to heal soon. You are not alone in this. Contrary to popular belief I used to be young and in love, and I have experienced heartbreak myself. I may not be an expert but I can help you navigate this new normal. You will not always feel like this. You will start to heal. You need to know how wonderful and amazing you are. You need to remember that you are worth it. You are loveable. And it will be OK.
Steph Hightree is a hot mess mom who is fueled by stress and too much caffeine. She is a Three Rivers native who talks about the good, the bad, and well, everything else about parenthood.
Any views or opinions expressed in “#MomLife” are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Watershed Voice staff or its board of directors.
