Aubrey Barnes: They Gone Grow Up

Yo Big Man, ‘fore You go Walk out on Lil Mans…

‘Fore You go Cold, Walking away from Sun…

Remember, He gone be Grown One Day.

He gone have Hair. He gone have Heart. He gone have Hate.

He gone see Boys at playgrounds wit they Pops.

He gone See Boys at school wit they Fathers.

He gone SEE Boys at church wit they Dads.

And He gone Wonder where the Hell You at…

He gone be blaming “Yo Baby Momma” just like You.

He gone be Blaming Himself when He lookin’ at His Reflection in Dirty Dish Water…

Feeling as if He a stain that can be Scrubbed….

He gone Wonder how You could Wash Yo Hands of Him.

How You could set Fire to that Garden of Eden within His Chest.

Wit no one teach him how to tame that Flame, yet He gone be tryin’ His Best.

Pick up games at Park, He gone be tryin’ His Best. At school, he gone be tryin’ His Best.

He gone Strive to be Better than You, so He gone be tryin’ His Best.

While feeling like You did Him da Worst.

This Truth He gone digest, and You Know… You are what You Eat.

Chewing on Rage while walkin’ through hallways.

Wit shoulders Chippin’ way wit every Stride.

Starting to think that You Fake, Cuz he was told that Real Men don’t run and hide.

So He Outside. Looking towards anything as a Guide…

Whether Pirus… Pastors… Red Pill Prescriptions.

Take it to Heart when Friends Kill Commitments.

A simple canceling of Plans sparking PTSD.

A simple “Imma hit you back” unfulfilled feeling a lil too familiar.

Like da last footsteps of You He heard from Porch.

Like da first time He realized You wasn’t comin’ back.

You ain’t just walkin’ out on a Boy. 

You walkin’ away from most Important part of Yo Self.

That’s why You ready to throw Hands when He finds Ones outside Yo Self.

Angry at someone for stepping in, but really mad at Yo Self for stepping out.

Fearful of being da One being forgotten now.

So Big Man, ‘fore You go Walk in on Lil Mans…

‘Fore You feel that Warmth, Walking toward Sun…

Remember, He gone be Grown One Day.

He gone have Hair. He gone have Heart. He gone have Love.

He gone see You when You Laugh.

He gone See You when You Cry.

He gone SEE You when You make Mistakes.

And He See You just da Same. 

Like how Stars look at da Night Sky. 

Like how we look at Bird soaring past Clouds.

In His Eyes, You always gone be Soaring High.

Even when You feel like You at Yo lowest.

Even when they Pride and Prejudice treat You da Poorest.

Even when following da Beaten Path got You lost in da Forest.

He always gone Trust Yo Direction. 

See Yo Flaws as Perfection, find Comfort in Yo Protection.

He ain’t always gone need it. But He gone Copy that Kinda Compassion.

He gone recite Yo Verses, and Preach ‘em to da Masses.

He’s gone Plant whatever was Planted in Him.

Everytime You tell em He’s Yo World, He will believe in da Planet in Him.

Even when hit by Craters crashing through Self Confidence.

Even when He be walking through Valleys so Ominous.

He will Keep Eyes and Heart held to Yo Promises.

Not just Yo words but through Yo Presence in Present moment.

Through how You answer Yo Sons question when he asks, “Did You see me do that?”

Through how You Build Him up when Y’all play wit Legos.

I have a handful of Names of Fathers who Followed assignments;

My Brother Bert battles for His Boys and Daughters everyday.

My Brother Preston ain’t missed one of His Son’s Soccer Games.

My Brother Krazy brings his Kids to His Concerts.

Don’t Believe that rhetoric of Black Fatherhood being Fiction.

Just Know Big Man, whether You Choose to See Son Rise or Son Set.

Remember, He gone be Grown One Day.